


Cure My Pain

by Taste_of_Suburbia



Category: Moonlight (TV)
Genre: Angst, Atonement - Freeform, Blood Drinking, Blood Loss, Blood and Gore, Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Episode: s01e13 Fated to Pretend, Romance, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Vampire Bites, h/c_bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 22:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9207881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/pseuds/Taste_of_Suburbia
Summary: ‘Tear me apart.’An open invitation.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for h/c_bingo Round 7 for the prompt ‘atonement.’ 
> 
> Set after Josef turns Mick back into a vampire. I kinda love how vampires still have heartbeats in this show. 
> 
> **Soundtrack:** Title and Lyrics are from End of Green’s ‘Cure My Pain’

 

_~Cure my bleeding pain, with a razor blade_

_It_ _’s in my veins, I’m lost in life_

_The blood in my veins, feel so sick and tired_

_It_ _’s in my veins, I’m lost tonight~_

* * *

 

_A beat, blood dripping off the counter top and pooling on the tile._

The memory marred the image of Mick’s usually tidy kitchen. It didn’t change the way he felt about what had transpired tonight: looking away one moment and finding Josef sitting on his couch the next, hair dripping wet and shaking, clothes disheveled and torn in parts. Mick had tried to remember whether it had rained before Josef stirred, staring up at Mick as if he couldn’t comprehend how he had gotten there.

And then he had come forward, Mick’s glass of blood shattering between them in his surprise, pieces of glass cutting his hand and Josef’s exposed arm. The other vampire hadn’t noticed, pulling himself painstakingly down to his knees. A familiar voice, choked with emotion.

_‘Forgive me, Mick.’_

He thought about cleaning up the glass, thought more about cleaning Josef up.

_A second beat, steadier, throbbing underneath heat dampened skin._

Josef had looked up at him, eyes pleading, voice dripping with self-loathing and choked down regret. The first time he had seen his oldest friend he had watched him for the longest time in the background, a spot he’d always been accustomed to. He’d been mesmerized by the way Josef had worked a room, catering to the needs of everyone around him, even his staff. The way he handled money, or how his fingers slid lovingly over a stack of poker chips. The way he told a joke and had the entire room laughing joyously. The manner in which he flirted shamelessly with more than one woman at a time, and charmed them enough to remove any jealousy or animosity.

The way his eyes had cut right through the bustling crowd and found Mick’s.

Mick had been so well-hidden that there was no way Josef should have seen him. Moreover, no reason why Josef should have paid him any mind at all. He had watched Josef’s hand clasp a wine glass, fingers curling around it delicately, his eyes mysterious and sensual as they playfully tried to beckon Mick closer. He knew he was being played, didn’t much care at the time. He cared about it a whole lot afterward, railed at himself for letting Josef dig under his skin like that, but he and Josef kept meeting again and again, and each time Mick liked him and his company just a little bit more.

And Josef liked him, because the last thing on Mick’s mind was _money._ And _guidance_. And _power_ too. 

 _Another beat, closer now, and Josef_ _’s._

Mick adjusted his hold on the other vampire in his arms, burying his nose in Josef’s hair and breathing him in. The blood on his and Josef’s clothes was long since dried, yet blood still stained Josef’s lips almost in the shape of a kiss.

He closed his eyes, almost didn’t want to remember.

Josef had grasped Mick’s hand and Mick hadn’t known what to do. He just stood there like an idiot, gazing down at the other vampire like he had so clearly lost it and there was absolutely nothing he could do. It was only when Josef jerked and pulled his hand away that Mick had knelt, fingers resting over his friend’s as they clasped Mick’s shirt in inexpressible desperation. There had been such pain in Josef’s eyes, more than the both of them could hold, and there had been a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he already knew of Josef’s concerns.

_‘Tear me apart.’_

An open invitation.

_A stutter, loud in his consciousness._

Mick opened his eyes again, thumb brushing over Josef’s eyelashes delicately when he was certain he was awake again. The freezer was too far away, and more than once Mick had thought they might be able to sleep on the floor but no, they were both too restless.

“You gonna tell me what brought you to my apartment tonight?”

There wasn’t _always_ a reason, or a well-thought out one anyway. Sometimes Josef just liked to check up on him when Mick was too busy to check up on him. Sometimes he just liked to steal Mick’s stash of blood he always thoughtfully complained about, and other times he just liked to sit by the fire even though he had a far larger one back at his place. Mick wondered how often loneliness and the need for companionship - that wasn’t food or business related - ate at Josef.

It ate at Mick too, and Josef was one of the few who could selflessly sate that need. 

He had known what Josef needed, could smell it, taste it, touch it because he couldn’t pull his hands away from Josef. The hands that were gripping his shirt were ice cold and Josef had bared his neck. Mick had restraint but not with Josef tempting him; he usually always caved when Josef was involved. Not that he was a bad influence, just that Mick could relax a little more around him, give into perfectly reasonable things for a vampire. Things that upset Beth, yes, but things that made Josef happy.

He liked Josef best when he was happy.

And he liked him _needing_ too.

Teeth bared, Mick’s fangs sank into the tough flesh of Josef’s neck. Blood had rushed at him like a tidal wave, the scent of Josef overwhelming in the already claustrophobic space around them, made worse and _better_ at the same time by Josef pressing closer, forcing Mick deeper.

Josef had wanted Mick to _hurt_ him tonight, to tear him apart.

There must have been something digging under his _skin._

Mick told himself now that he had only given in because Josef had seemed so desperate, in a way Mick had never seen him before. It looked like he had been shaken thoroughly for hours and then dumped in some alleyway, waiting until his mind shattered.

_This heartbeat louder, pulling at Mick._

There was frailty in the way Josef was slung over him but there was strength too, his presence so sure it seemed no mistake that he was here. The room was cold without the fire raging but again, too far away and Mick wouldn’t do anything to shatter this night. He had drank more from Josef than he had intended, and then had forced Josef to make up for some of it by pulling enough blood from Mick’s wrist to bring him back from fevered catatonia. Josef hadn’t wanted to, and since when did Josef _not_ like to drink?

“I came to apologize,” Josef vaguely admitted.

Mick shifted gingerly this time, floor having melded to his back courtesy of Josef’s blood, but his unexpected visitor didn’t try to move like Mick thought he would. He had gotten sloppy and too free with Josef’s blood, and now it covered the living room and kitchen like paint. Josef didn’t seem much changed by the blood loss.

 _‘Don’t stop, Mick._ Please _don_ _’t stop.’_

He was too worried now to listen to heartbeats.

Mick was absolutely certain his oldest friend had done nothing wrong, and definitely not between now and the last time Mick had seen him. He had seemed _off_ then but Mick hadn’t commented on it, probably should have. He was so used to Josef just being _fine._ “There’s nothing to apologize for, Josef.” He breathed Josef in again, the scent of his blood having died down considerably. It had been like a recovery for the both of them since Josef had turned him back.

Josef swallowed and licked his lips, turned his head toward Mick but without looking at him. His muscles were straining, bunching up under Mick’s hand, and Mick ran a soothing hand down his arm. Not many things could rile Josef up like this. He strained too, listening to every breath from the person he loved most. “Mick, I turned you back. You wanted to be a human. Do you have any idea how wretched I feel, that I took away the one thing you wanted most?”

 _Not again._ Josef hadn’t brought it up before tonight, but Mick knew he had been thinking about it. Why couldn’t they just move past this? “That was _my_ choice to make, _not_ yours,” he growled.

He hated that Josef was thinking about this _still_ , hated how Josef trembled in his arms like Mick was the one who was going to hurt him, _hated_ that vulnerable tone, a faint tremor underlying it. Josef could _never_ do wrong in his eyes, not anymore. Not with their bond now. And sometimes he wasn’t sure whether that was good or not: the potential graying of morals. Not that his friend spent _too_ much time in gray areas, not enough to have Mick worried, and some things in life were meant clinging onto even for the destruction of all others.

Josef was one of those things.

And what mistake had Josef made? Being a good friend enough to do something that Mick had begged of him?

“I came to you in the first place.”

“And saved my life by doing so,”Mick snapped. It wasn’t meant to push Josef away, or even push himself away from the hole they had fallen down into, but it _was_ meant to get Josef to snap at him in turn, to get everything out now before they both put their walls back up again. Mick would hold off, a word from Josef would get him to crumble them altogether, but Josef was usually quick about these things. His walls were probably being reconstructed as they argued.

Josef’s hand was clenched in Mick’s shirt again, fingernails nearly piercing his skin. The thought that they didn’t meant Josef was _really_ holding back, and he rarely ever did that unless Mick asked him to. _Don_ _’t we have each other wrapped around our fingers…_ “You have to understand, Mick. How hard this is for me.”

“And I forgave you, Josef. You asked me to and even if you hadn’t, the first second I was back I did. I’ll always forgive you. You mean the _world_ to me. Right here, right now, it’s _us_. This is our time. This is our world too, not just the humans.’ I turned my back on our kind before, turned my back on _you_ , Josef.”

Josef sat up and Mick slipped an arm to the back of his neck, squeezing, telling him without words to stay. The other vampire settled again, though the comfortable relief in his eyes revealed to Mick that he had never planned on bolting. “I never begrudged you that. I wanted what _you_ wanted, Mick. And I was never planning on allowing our friendship to deteriorate.”

_I was lucky the day I met Josef Kostan._

“You’re too damn reasonable sometimes, you know that?”

A quirk of the lips, Mick reveling in its existence with the brush of a thumb across the bottom one. “So that’s what’s got you so hooked rather than the money. Should have known, you’ve always been a sucker for someone who’s willing to cut corners for you.”

Mick laughed at the insult. “The only corner I want cut is the one to your heart.”

“So you’re coming up with the cheesy one-liners now, huh?” Josef snorted in feigned disdain, “Should have known you would steal my moment to shine.”

“Shut up, Josef.”

Josef’s smile, no longer a shadow of its former glory. Mick figured he’d hand over the reins for a little while, until… “Only if you make me.”

**FIN**


End file.
